The Pecking Order.

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Meet Tevin Nzei and Sorce Ndung’u. Charming. Debonair. Suave.

About the title; there’s a pun in there somewhere I’m sure you’ll get it. Once upon a time Tall, dark and handsome was deemed noteworthy. That has now become the modern-day myth. Or at the very least in all my years I found it was swiftly replaced with another. The scourge of the light skin…

Despite the fact that our thoughts dictate our actions. Deep down by design we still have basic instinct. Nature dictates that only the swiftest and strongest of the bunch is chosen. We would like to sit and chat with someone before calling them special. Watch their eyes light up when you make them happy. But like a devil on your shoulder, whispering to your subconscious your body gravitates towards attractive strangers. Usually the female form will always peak the man’s interest. Appreciating how that dress hugs her skin as she struts along the periphery. Or ladies delighting in the well chiseled body of a muscular gent.

Out of all possible characteristics and personalities, The society has exalted a class of persons based on lighter complexion and not much else. The benchmark of beauty regardless of gender is now based solely on skin-tone. I included imagery so that we have a clear understanding of how far down the rabbit hole we dove. Using the lads in the picture as a standard no offence to them, quite saintly they are, the lighter the better. We see it all the time tall, dark and handsome falling a distant second to light-skin. Chubby, skinny, bearded, funny, all disregarded. For the guys ladies swoon at the sight of them forgetting the now less ‘shiny’ suitors. But it doesn’t end there. Oft times jokes are made about how little work one has to do with a lighter shade of skin. A smile and a wink the equivalent of days of detective work, perfect timing, seeking out phone numbers and ‘coincidental and random’ meetings. Chums, that is what I call them, men who forget the bitter-sweet story that is courtship punctuated with colourful rejection.

For gender equality’s sake, light-toned ladies have chaps jumping hurdles and sometimes over each other just to be seen by their side. Shallow perhaps but this fad has overtaken my locality and I can’t help but cry foul. I see sisters resigned to burying their faces under layers of foundation. Believe me I have several, sisters that is, so I fully understand the worth of a woman’s make up. However going from attractive brown skin to near snow-white complexion is not only a marvel but a fear that keeps many a man up at night. Do let’s not digress, we will revisit this skillful many-faced art. Royalty is what we have made them out to be. Day after day we praise so said ladies, proclaiming of their profound beauty. “Rangi ya thao” loosely translated means invaluable and attractive skin haha. Unreplied messages and missed calls are acceptable, all manner of favours and late hours put in all to sate the wanton needs of the light-skinned lady/mami.

Quite true this is a sad reality, the society yet again imprisoning our freedom of thought by creating ‘norms’ that oft demoralize and discourage an unsuspecting innocent. How are we to create meaningful friendships and relationships with the odds stacked so highly in another’s favour. One way or another we have lost or won a consort by this rule of thumb. In the end I was forced to go to the mountains and seek wisdom. As it is said, the answer often lies within. The secret ingredient is not really skin but Confidence.

Through the society’s veil they have received confidence in leaps and bounds by inadvertently taking from others. The buck stops here. Try to call back a memory from days long since passed. It so happens you met someone, possibly even shared a greeting but they soon forgot you. Take no offence you were having a low day and your gloom dampened your usually cheerful spirits. On a different day you meet a stranger and after an unspoken hello, you leave such an impression they consciously make an effort to get back to you. That dear friends is the power of confidence, and no you don’t have to go to the mountains. We all have it aplenty. It is with this tool I will level the playing field Master Tevin Nzei of the stubble and golden skin.

Take heed, it is our imperfections, the little things that make us different that help us stand out. Being decent, funny and thoughtful is worth a lot more than deceptively good looks. But I guess it’s true, your looks get you to the door. Edit that and say your bubbling self-confidence knocks the doors down. I was born chocolate and did I lose out on one or two companions? Irrelevant. Your story is your own to write and narrate. Disclaimer: This article is not a threat. Nor is it to be accepted as advice. These are just the musings of a student in the school of life fabricated by colourful imagination. The characters therein and their names are probably fictional are only sought to help convey the writer’s impression.

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Modern Day Romance

If only this were easy
If only this were easy

“Hitch: Never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”

How romantic. Those words; definitely not mine. Not that I¬†don’t have my fair share of charm about me.¬†I’m pretty sure you’ve heard¬†them too. Or something to that effect. Such quotes are common place in romantic motion pictures the world over. It’s funny how easy it is. At least that’s the misguided notion propagated by the movies we watch. That in just about two hours;¬†two unsuspecting people find each other, go out for one or two dates, fall in love staring into each others eyes and live happily ever after. You never get to see the frustrating unreplied messages when she plays hard to get. Or what exactly is discussed during so said dates that is the key to love and romance. And trust me, it would be tough luck to actually manage to include that “romantic” passage in a conversation, I’ve tried. That was awkward. So watching romantic flicks, as numerous as they are is not the answer. What is then?

Living in a time when Google is the omniscient master of knowledge and the answer to all. Yeah if you haven’t tried go right ahead. And sure as I hobble on ten toes, Google does not disappoint. The answer is right there. There’s thousands of entries. However no one ever tells you that Google is not a sentient being but a collection of opinions from mortal men¬†no different¬†from you or I. Maybe you’ll get lucky and actually learn something that works. Most of the posts still believe that charm is the way to go and they even offer numbered steps. Fool proof they say. Ha! It would be just as easy to apply Calculus in our day to day lives.

Well, their hearts may be in the right place but there’s no one path to what you’re looking for. The destination may be the same but human beings are different. Each of them intimate. So the road will never be the same. And most of all, as things stand if you were not born in Great Britain or pursuing a degree in the English language, Shakespeare is not the go to guy anymore. Sticking to well structured articulate conversation greatly narrows down your selection pool from thousands to maybe ten if you’re living in a metropolis. Forget what the movies say, leave the English to application letters and save Google for that overdue assignment.

As things stand I am no guru nor do I know how to contact cupid. But I can tell you in my quest to upgrade from my senior bachelorhood, I tried them all. And the answer is so simple it should be put right up there with 1+1 is equal to two. Exercise patience, not every one who comes by is worth your time and effort. Be brave enough to say hi when that person comes by. Your confidence goes a long way and most of all your honesty.

I spent much too long perfecting an art. So much so I consider myself charming, debonair and suave. Big words that get you nowhere real quick. It is not an art but persons, It is not a conquest but a connection. Speak not to be heard but to be understood. Above all listen. Give more ear and less lip.¬†In the end you’ll get more of the latter ūüėČ

Yes I’m just another post you can search up on Google but like you, I’m trying. And every fail is a step in the right direction.